THIRTY LINES TO MAKE YOU SMILE 
> > > 
> > >   1.. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. 
> >  >        He thought he was God and I didn't. 
> >  > 
> > >    2.. I don't suffer from insanity; --I enjoy every  minute of it. 
> > > 
> > >    3.. I Work Hard --Because  Millions On Welfare Depend on Me! 
> > > 
> > >    4..  Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them. 
> >  > 
> > >    5.. I used to have a handle on life, but it  broke. 
> > > 
> > >    6.. Don't take life too seriously;  No one gets out alive. 
> > > 
> > >    7.. You're just  jealous because the voices only talk to me 
> > > 
> > >   8.. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. 
> > > 
> >  >    9.. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe. 
> >  > 
> > >    10.. I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are  missing. 
> > > 
> > >    11.. Out of my mind. Back in  five minutes. 
> > > 
> > >    12. NyQuil, the stuffy,  sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning 
> > > medicine. 
> >  > 
> > >    13.. God must love stupid people; He made so  many. 
> > > 
> > >    14.. The gene pool could use a  little chlorine. 
> > > 
> > >    15.. Consciousness: That  annoying time between naps. 
> > > 
> > >    16.. Ever  stop to think, and forget to start again? 
> > > 
> > >     17.. Being "over the hill" is much better than being under it! 
> >  > 
> > >    18.. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted  to Be When I Grew 
>up. 
> > > 
> > >    19..  Procrastinate Now! 
> > > 
> > >    20.. I Have a Degree  in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That? 
> > > 
> > >   21.. A hangover is the wrath of grapes. 
> > > 
> > >   22.. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance. 
> >  > 
> > >    23.. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park  elsewhere! 
> > > 
> > >    24..They call it PMS because  MadCow Disease was already taken. 
> > > 
> > >    25..He  who dies with the most toys is nonetheless dead. 
> > > 
> > >   26..A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three 
> >  > thousand  times the memory. 
> > > 
> > >     27..Ham and eggs. A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime 
> > >  commitment  for a  pig. 
> > > 
> > >    28..  The trouble with life is there's no background music. 
> > > 
> >  >    29.. The original point and click interface was a Smith and  Wesson. 
> > > 
> > >    30.. I smile! because I don't  know what the hell is going on. 
>