10 puns

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>1. A vulture boards an airplane carrying two dead raccoons. The
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>stewardess looks at him and says "I'm sorry sir, only one carrion
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>allowed per passenger."
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>2. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and
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>says "Dam!"
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>3. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly so they lit a fire in the
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>craft. Not surprisingly it sank, proving again that you can't have your
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>kayak and heat it too.
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>4. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, "I've lost my electron." The 
other
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>says, "Are you sure?" The first replies "Yes, I'm 
positive."
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>5. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root
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>canal? He wanted to transcend dental medication.
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>6. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing
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>in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After awhile
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>the manager came over and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they 
asked,
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>as they moved off. "Because" he said, "I can't stand 
chess-nuts
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>boasting in an open foyer."
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>7. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to
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>a family in Egypt and is named Ahmal. The other goes to a family in
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>Spain and is named Juan. Years later Juan sends a picture of himself to
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>his birth mother. On receiving the picture she tells her husband that
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>she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds,
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>"They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."
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>8. These friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up
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>a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers
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>from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition
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>was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not.
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>He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So the
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>rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug
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>in town to persuade them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed
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>their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop.
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>Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that only Hugh can prevent
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>florist friars.
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>9. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which
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>produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very
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>little, which made him rather frail, and with his odd diet he suffered
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>from bad breath. This made him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by
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>halitosis.
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>10. And finally, there was the person who sent ten different puns to
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>their friends with the hope that at least one of the puns would make
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>them laugh. No pun in ten did.