>             Actual Answering Machine Messages Recorded and Verified By The
 
>World Famous
>             International Institute of Answering Machine Messages:
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>             My wife and I can't come to the phone right now, but if you'll
 
>leave your name and number, we'll get back to you as soon as we're 
>finished.
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>             Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving
 
>messages.
>             My owners do not need siding, windows or a hot tub, and their 
>carpets are clean. They give to charity at the office and don't need their 
>picture taken. If you're still with me, leave your name and home phone 
>number and they will get back to you.
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>             This is not an answering machine - this is a telepathic 
>thought-recording
>             device. After the tone, think about your name, your number, 
>and your reason for calling.... and I'll think about returning your call.
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>             Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his 
>refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to 
>myself with one of those little magnets.
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>             Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent
 
>the money.
>             If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my bank, 
>you didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. 
>If you are a female, don't worry, I have LOTS of money.
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>             A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why
 
>we're not
>             here. So, leave a message.
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>             Hello! If you leave a message, I'll call you soon. If you 
>leave a "sexy"
>             message, I'll call sooner.
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>             Hi. Now YOU say something.
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>             Hi. I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like.
 
>Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you.
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>             Hello, you've reached Jim and Sonya. We can't pick up the 
>phone right now, because we're doing something we really enjoy. Sonya likes
 
>doing it up and down, and I like doing it left to right... real slowly. So 
>leave a message, and when we're done brushing our teeth, we'll call you 
>back.
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