>Subject: Top 8 Morons for 2003
> > >
> > >TOP 8 MORONS OF 2003 - Thank God that year is over.
> > #8 is almost
> > >unbelievable!!
> > >
> > >1. WILL THE REAL DUMMY PLEASE STAND UP?
> > >
> > >AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months,
> > saying he lacked
> > >intellectual leadership. He received a $26 million
> > severance
> > >package. Perhaps it's not Walter who's lacking
> > intelligence.
> > >
> > >2. WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS:
> > >
> > >Police in Oakland, California spent two hours
> > attempting to subdue a
> > >gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home.
> > After firing ten
> > >tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the
> > man was standing
> > >beside them in the police line, shouting, "Please
> > come out and give
> > >yourself up."
> > >
> > >3. WHAT WAS PLAN B???
> > >
> > >An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun,
> > kidnapped a motorist and
> > >forced him to drive to two different automated
> > teller machines,
> > >wherein the kidnapper proceeded to withdraw money
> > from his own bank
> > >accounts.
> > >
> > >4. THE GETAWAY!
> > >
> > >A man walked into a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Stop, and
> > asked for all the
> > >money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was
> > too small, so he
> > >tied up the store clerk and worked the counter
> > himself for three
> > >hours until police showed up and grabbed him.
> > >
> > >5. DID I SAY THAT???
> > >
> > >Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery
> > suspect who just
> > >couldn't control himself during a line-up. When
> > detectives asked
> > >each man in the line-up to repeat the words: "Give
> > me all your money
> > >or I'll shoot," the man shouted, "that's not what I
> > said!"
> > >
> > >6. ARE WE COMMUNICATING??
> > >
> > >A man spoke frantically into the phone, "My wife is
> > pregnant and her
> > >contractions are only two minutes apart!" "Is this
> > her first child?"
> > >the doctor asked. "No!" the man shouted, "This is
> > her husband!
> > >
> > >7. NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED!!
> > >
> > >In Modesto, California, Steven Richard King was
> > arrested for trying
> > >to hold up a Bank of America branch without a
> > weapon. King used a
> > >thumb and a finger to simulate a gun, but
> > unfortunately, he failed
> > >to keep his hand in his pocket.(hellllllooooooo!)
> > >
> > >8. THE GRAND FINALE (I LOVE THIS ONE!!!)
> > >
> > >Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the
> > high desert, an
> > >hour east of Bakersfield, Cal. some folks, new to
> > boating, were
> > >having a problem. No matter how hard they tried,
> > they couldn't get
> > >their brand new 22 ft boat going. It was very
> > sluggish in almost
> > >every maneuver, no matter how much power was
> > applied. After about an
> > >hour of trying to make it go, they putted to a
> > nearby marina,
> > >thinking someone there could tell them what was
> > wrong. A thorough
> > >top side check revealed everything in perfect
> > working condition. The
> > >engine ran fine, the out drive went up and down,
> > and the propeller
> > >was the correct size and pitch. So, one of the
> > marina guys jumped in
> > >the water to check underneath. He came up choking
> > on water, he was
> > >laughing so hard.
> > >
> > >NOW REMEMBER... THIS IS TRUE . Under the boat,
> > still strapped
> > >securely in place, was the trailer.
> > >