Men jokes to make up for all the blonde jokes 

Q: What should you do if you see your ex-husband 

rolling around in pain on the ground? 

A: Shoot him again. 

 

  Q: How can you tell when a man is well-hung? 

 A: When you can just barely slip your finger in 

 between his neck and the noose. 

 

 Q: Why do little boy's whine? 

 A: Because they're practicing to be men. 

 

 Q: How many men does it take to screw in a light 

 bulb? 

A: One - he just holds it up there and waits for 

 the world to revolve 

 around him. OR Three - one to screw in the bulb, and 

 two to listen to him 

 brag about the screwing part. 

 

 Q: What do you call a handcuffed man? 

 A: Trustworthy. 

 

 Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed 

 gasping for breath and 

 calling your name? 

 A: You didn't hold the pillow down long enough. 

 

 Q: Why does it take 100,000,000 sperm to fertilize 

 one egg? 

 A: Because not one will stop and ask directions. 

 M

 Q: Why do female black widow spiders kill their 

 males after mating? 

 A: To stop the snoring before it starts. 

 

 Q: What is the difference between men and women? 

 A: A woman wants one man to satisfy her every 

 need. A man wants every 

 woman to satisfy his one need. 

 

 Q: How does a man keep his youth? 

 A: By giving her money, furs and diamonds. 

 

 Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your 

 e-mail? 

 A: Rename the mail folder: "Instruction Manuals."