>>Medical Misconceptions 
>> 
>>Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true? 
>>A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it: don't piss 
>>them away on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your 
>>heart will not make you live longer; that's like 
>>saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to 
>>live longer? Take a nap. 
>> 
>>Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and 
>>vegetables? 
>>A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and 
>>corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an 
>>efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? 
>>Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy 
>>vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily 
>>allowance of vegetable slop. 
>> 
>>Q: Is beer or wine bad for me? 
>>A: Look, it goes to the earlier point about fruits and vegetables. As we 
>>all know, scientists divide everything in the world into three categories: 
>>animal, mineral, and vegetable. We all know that beer and wine are not 
>>animal, and they are not on the periodic table of elements, so that only 
>>leaves one thing, right? My advice: Have a burger and a beer and enjoy 
>>your liquid 
>>vegetables. 
>> 
>>Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio? 
>>A: Well, if you have a body, and you have body fat, your ratio is one to 
>>one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc. 
>> 
>>Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise 
>>program? 
>>A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain - Good. 
>> 
>>Q: If I stop smoking, will I live longer? 
>>A: Nope. Smoking is a sign of individual statement and peace of mind. If 
>>you stop, you'll probably stress yourself to death 
>>in record time. 
>> 
>>Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you? 
>>A: You're not listening. Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In 
>>fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad 
>>for you? 
>> 
>>Q: What's the secret to healthy eating? 
>>A: Thicker gravy. 
>> 
>>Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the 
>>middle? 
>>A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should 
>>only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach. 
>> 
>>I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you 
>>may have had.