>>1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me,
>>for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much
>>leave me the hell alone.
>>
>>
>>2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a
>>leaky tire.
>>
>>
>>3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your
>>neighbour's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
>>
>>
>>4. Sex is like air. It's not important unless you aren't getting any.
>>
>>
>>5. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be
>>promoted.
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>6. Always remember you're unique. Just like every
>>one else
>>
>>
>>7. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
>>
>>
>>8. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of
>>car payments.
>>
>>
>>9. Before you criticise someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes.
>>That way, when you criticise them you're a mile away and you have their
>>shoes.
>>
>>
>>10. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
>>
>>
>>11. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish,
>>and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
>>
>>
>>12. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was
>>probably worth it.
>>
>>
>>13. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
>>
>>
>>14. Some days you are the bug; some days you are the windshield.
>>
>>
>>15. Don't worry; it only seems kinky the first time.
>>
>>
>>16. Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes
>>from bad judgment.
>>
>>
>>17. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put
>>it back in your pocket.
>>
>>
>>18. A closed mouth gathers no foot.
>>
>>
>>19. Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side and a dark side,
>>and it holds the universe together.
>>
>>
>>20. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
>>
>>
>>21. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are
>>moving.
>>
>>
>>22. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
>>
>>
>>23. We are born naked, wet and hungry, and get slapped on our ass...
>>Then things get worse.
>>
>>
>>24. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative
>>on the same night.
>>
>>
>>25. There is a fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."
>>
>>
>>26. No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too
>>seriously.
>>
>>
>>27. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to
>>make a big deal about your birthday...around age 11.
>>
>>
>>28. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
>>
>>
>>29. The most important ingredient for a long marriage is a short memory.